Come, Hear, & DO!

Three things stuck out to me when I read Luke today, I doubt you'll end up hearing all of them though. Have you ever paid attention to the composition, transition, or order of the stories in the gospels?

Luke 6:46-49 is the parable of the wise and foolish builders. The wise builder comes, hears Jesus' words, and puts it into practice. Great to chew on, I thought- putting enough effort into our relationship with God that we would seek him out, that we would get up and come to him, and that we would listen to him when he speaks, and not only that, but to put it into practice. What a concept! It would be nice to have an example of someone who actually did this though. Well, lookie here- right after this parable a centurion sends some Jewish elders to Jesus to ask if he would come and heal his dying servant. But he asked Jesus to come- that seems rather lazy- but we find out later that's because he did not feel worthy to go to Jesus. The centurion knows he does not deserve Jesus- wise guy- he also knows that if Jesus speaks the word his servant WILL be healed.

The centurion didn't need Jesus right by him to believe. He had heard, and what he knew he put into practice with his active faith. I only hope I can realize, like the centurion, that I do not deserve Jesus. I am so far from being worthy, yet still he bids me to seek Him. That is a call which I deeply desire to answer with everything I do and am.

Jesus says "he who has been forgiven little loves little". Maybe that's why I love so deeply - I know I have been forgiven SO much.

False Tears

Today I won't be sharing something from Luke or Ezekiel, but from one of my favorite books, Isaiah (58)! This is actually my life passage - it's about true fasting. I read it in the amplified this morning and was blown away by how much more it illuminated.
God says that they "cannot fast as they do today and expect your voice to be heard on high". What's that supposed to mean?

Is such a fast as yours what I have chosen, a day for a man to humble himself with sorrow in his soul? [Is true fasting merely mechanical?] Is it only to bow down his head like a bulrush and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him [to indicate a condition of heart that he does not have]? Will you call this a fast and an acceptable day to the Lord?

The Israelites were trying to replace a living breathing relationship with empty ritual. It's like saying "I love you" to someone every day at 3:30 - it doesn't mean anything if you are just going through the motions, these are only empty words if your heart does not live in a condition of love. The Israelites were trying to get by with ritual and religion when God wanted true fasting, and true repentance.

God wanted the Israelites to change things, and not just go through meaningless motions...

[Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?

He wants them, and you, to feed the hungry, and to "bring the homeless poor into your house--when you see the naked,cover him, and do not hide yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood".

God also intructs that we "take away from your midst yokes of oppression [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked speaking"

He doesn't want us pointing out the brokenness or messed up failures of those who are already oppressed, or even the godly. He wants us to absolutely rid ourselves of every false, hurtful, unfair word we might speak. Man, I guess that means stereotypes, assumptions, libel, and slander are all out of the picture. Hard day- but the reward he offers is worth it!

Just wanted to share one of my favorite chapters - Isaiah 58, read it and obey it someday...

Also want to add some lyrics from a great song "Rich Young Ruler" by Derek Webb

here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor

We are especially into rule-keeping and out of a passionate following-to-the-earths-ends relationship here in the U.S.

A store in my heart

The only thing I would change about my Bible would be to convert Jesus' words to neon blue, or red- anything to make them stick out. Anyhow, I was reading Luke today, I've always loved where Jesus talks (in black letters) about how each tree is known by its own fruit. It's completely just- we can't be proclaimed good simply because our parents or spouse or pet camel is- life doesn't work that way. I am known by my own fruit; sometimes I'm glad for this, other days not so much. The verse that stuck out to me today appears in the fruit section;

Luke 6:45 (NASB)
The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

Now for the essential version- the Amplified!
The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright(honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.

Kind of unnerving to think that every word we speak is showing those who listen exactly what is in our hearts. I wonder what people would hear come out of my mouth if every word was recorded for a week, or even a day? Sunday night one of my friends said that he was intimidated by me when he first met me because I only ever talked about the Bible and writing, and he always saw me highlighting and underlining and writing stuff in my bible- so I guess I know what one person thinks. Suppose that God's word is a great thing to abound in my heart.

So just remember your words and your actions flow from what you store in your heart- store stuff you want to share with others!

A heart to respond to His touch

I'll be honest here- I was thinking that Ezekiel would probably be hard to get through. That shows my ignorance - I had no idea it would be SO exciting, so mind-opening. Here is a semi-popular passage which stuck out to me, now read it in the amplified version!

Ezekiel 11 (AMP)
18And when they return to the land of Israel, they shall take away from it all traces of its detestable things and all its abominations (sex, impurities and heathen religious practices).

19And I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God],

20That they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances, and do them. And they shall be My people, and I will be their God.

The Israelites have all these idols, God is saying that, when he brings them back home, they will get ride of all the heathen influences they succumbed to and put before Him for so long. He will give them a new heart and spirit- the one which has been hardened by idol worship and violence and worshiping other gods (see Ezek. 8) will be gone! The heart He will give will be sensitive to the Lord again. When he touches their hearts they can feel it again. He isn't doing this for no reason; He is giving them a heart that is responsive to Him so that they will walk in His way. That they will follow His laws and be careful to keep them.

Following God- what a wonderful outcome brought about by the eradication of idols and the gift of a new heart!

Diagnosed: a Hopeless Sinner

I'm reading through Luke, and I'd just like to say I'm happy that there's a gospel account written by him - he's so thorough. I know this is a popular and well-known saying of Jesus, but I really like it. (see Luke 5)

31Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." - NIV

31And Jesus replied to them, It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.32I have not come to arouse and invite and call the righteous, but the erring ones (those not free from sin) to repentance [to change their minds for the better and heartily to amend their ways, with abhorrence of their past sins]. -Amplified

This is so true; honestly, who goes to the doctor when they feel great? I don't think anyone does - a doctor is who you go to when you're sick, in hopes they can help you diagnose and fix whatever ails you. God isn't calling those of us (nonexistent people group by the way) who have it all together and never have anything ailing us.

God wants sinners! He's inviting the sinners, not the self righteous, to sup with him. I want to get invited, that shouldn't be a problem... Jesus is calling the ones going in the wrong direction to radically change their mindsets and fix their wayward ways. He wants to give the lost direction in life.

Diagnosis: sinner
cure: repentance and redemption

Power from on High

I think God's showing me my future piece by piece, or step by step. I went to church today, and I just realized that(at this point in time) I do not want to preach to a traditional church of Christians. I want to speak love into the lives of the broken, and lead passionate God-seekers into a more intimate relationship with their Lord and Savior. Maybe it's silly or selfish, but I don't want to waste the time and words God has given me on the lukewarm, which is what too many churches are. If he asked me too though, I would.

Last night I started Power from on High by Charles G. Finney - it's a compilation of stuff published in a newspaper in the 1870's - awesome! That's pretty long ago, maybe that's part of the reason I love reading it; times are different, and this man was different too. I would love to be a Charles Finney, but, like Thomas Merton says; "How do you expect to arrive at the end of your own journey if you take the road to another man's city?"

Charles Finney was a tall, handsome, musically gifted leader. He was going to become a lawyer, then he was radically saved, and decided to become a preacher/missionary instead. That is so cool to me. He has been called "The Father of Modern Revivalism", he definitely brought the life of Christ to many lives.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that, his book is very good and only 79 pages if you have a chance to read it I am sure it would be influential.

While eyes lust a heart is broken

How easily our hearts can be hurt. Especially when we love the person deeply, their offense against us seems to wound even more deeply. How then must God feel? He loves so much, and so intensely, and he loves so many. Here is a glimpse into his heart from

Ezekiel 6:9 NIV
"Then in the nations where they have been carried captive, those who escape will remember me—how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil they have done and for all their detestable practices."

I really like how The Message puts this;
"In the foreign countries where they're taken as prisoners of war, they'll remember me. They'll realize how devastated I was by their betrayals, by their voracious lust for gratifying themselves in their idolatries. They'll be disgusted with their evil ways, disgusting to God in the way they've lived."

God's heart is broken by us. By our hearts which are so easily turned to love another, not over and above God, but just plain over Him. We know his great love for us, yet we choose to throw it back in his face by following another. And out eyes, the windows to our soul, even they show how we lust after idols. We set up idols to serve us in some way. At least that's why they used to. The Israelites had Aaron make them an idol to go before them, to lead them - Moses was just taking too long on that mountain. They needed something, someone, to serve and satisfy them, to take the place of God. Well what if God wasn't created to serve or satisfy us? What if we were created to serve Him, and, in doing that, we are fully satisfied and completely fulfilled. No wonder God is heartbroken...

More than a Scapegoat for Sin

I just started reading Luke yesterday, and what a terrific book to begin during the season of celebration for our Savior's birth. We all pretty much know the Christmas story, but something stuck out to me this year. As the angel of the Lord appeared to the shepherds he said;

"I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."

A Savior has been born who is Christ the Lord. Hmmm... Savior and Lord - sound familiar? I'm pretty sure most sinner's prayers have us confessing Jesus as Savior and Lord. Why then is it we so often ditch the Lord term in favor of the Savior title? Yes, we need someone to save us from our sins, ourselves. But that's not all He is- He's so much more than just a babe born in a manger, than a carpenter's son, or a man nailed to the cross. As Peter says, he is "the Christ/Messiah, the son of the living God". The Christ means the Messiah, or anointed one. A Messiah is a King anointed by God's direction, with His approval. God ordained him to be the King, or Lord, of our lives as well. God doesn't just want his son to be a scapegoat for sin, he wants him to be the very ruler of our lives.

Some days I have to ask myself if I am only relying on Christ as my Savior, or if I am following him and surrendering myself to His divinely appointed and anointed Lordship. What about you?

The Offer

From Consuming Zeal

There are a million people holding out their hands, or hearts, and offering things to us. And then there is God, offering to let us come and die to ourselves, but at the same time offering us true life. There are trillions of choices to be chosen. What offer will you accept today?

Which is Worse?

Boldly you stand, and gaze around you confidently. Before a smile can crease your face a gorgeous woman draws near. Grasping your arm she steals your attention, and your gaze drifts to her eyes, riveting pools of azul. All I am, I will give to you; she speaks earnestly, and you know she would gladly give herself to you. She slides her hand down your arm and links her fingers with your own. "Come," she says.

Your eyes are now lackluster stones, as of onyx. Lying, one shoulder up against a stone, the other cloaked in mid-morning chill, resting in the shade of an unknown tree. The hunger you feel has seeped all strength you once had. A bag of bones is what remains, awaiting death. Your stomach growls, desiring food as fiercely as a ravenous lion. The tree above you blossoms, sprouting fruit before your very eyes. And then birds of the air fly to its branches, a plump pheasant falls before your face. Your intestines grind against each other like a mill stone on flour, saliva drips from your mouth, wetting the parched earth, and whetting your desire for food. An apple, luscious, ripe to the fullest extent of the word falls in front of your outstretched hand. "Devour," your stomach bids you.

After a journey through barren lands you arrive at a heavenly oasis. Palms sway in the breeze, the songs of exotic birds lilt through the aromatic air. You stand on the last inch of barren ground and look down into the unrivaled paradise before you. It could all be yours- a little force and surely the peaceful citizens would bow before you like the palms before a sandstorm. Or with a small amount of groveling service surely you could weasel your way into the courts of the king. Easily you could usurp his power and claim it for yourself. "Serve," your heart coaxes you, telling you this would be but brief lip-service to the king.

Swords clash and arrows scream through the blood-red sky, a battle is waged around, and within, you. You know that you could leave the safety of you shield, you could drop your sword, boldly enter the fray of the battle. All your soldiers would give their lives to protect you; laying them down like cloaks for a king walking a dusty road. You would need to do nothing but step forward, unprotected, to test the depth of their service, their devotion to you.

You go to the temple, you greet the smiling faces with a mask of your own. Hugs abound, as do compliments, easily contrived. All move together into a time of worship. You raise your voice in song, inside only admiring yourself. The music crescendoes, you close your eyes, thrust your head back, and lift your hands, swaying with the music all the while. The songs come to and end, the offering plate is passed. You pause the procession, retrieve cash from your wallet, insert into an envelope, lick it, and haughtily drop it into the plate. The pastor stands up and spouts his own words like Mt. Vesuvius, you chime in with an amen and hallelujah chorus at all the appropriate times. The end draws near, the pastor calls all the broken to the altar, the emotion is high, many come. Now he bids, "thou who art spiritual, come, restore the fallen". You rise, nobly walking to the front where a young man is on his face weeping. You lay your hand on his head and pray loudly, voice carrying throughout the church. Your mouth moves, on and on, though your mind moves onto thoughts of how wretched this fellow must be. You condemn him with your own thoughts. When your eternal prayer finally comes to a close, so has his sobbing, you wait for him to stand, and then pat him on the back. Patronizingly and condescendingly you speak, "believe in the Lord and thou shalt be saved". Proper King James English and all, your duty is done for the day. You hasten out of the sanctuary and jockey for position in the cars fleeing the parking lot. Pulling out in front of a mother attending to a crying child in the back seat, you drive on the wide road leading to your home.

Like the Watchmen Wait

When Ezekiel is called God says something interesting to him "You are not being sent to many peoples of obscure speech and difficult language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you". God isn't sending him to Nineveh (they repented when Jonah spoke from the Lord). Nope, he's sending Ezekiel to his own people. God tells him straight up that Israel will not listen to his prophecies because they are not even willing to listen to God Himself! Ezekiel is pretty much overwhelmed, he just chills by the river with his exiled people for seven days. Then God says;

Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.

God has mad us all watchmen- if we hear God, if He speaks to us, which surely he does if we are truly his sheep. We must warn those who are rushing to their doom. If we see someone living up a life of sin and plunging deeper and deeper into immorality, we'd better warn them what the end result of their lifestyle is. We must speak out, even if they don't listen, for if we act, and speak the warning of God, we have cleared our own name, even if they do not choose to turn from sin.

We are watchmen, and we must not wait another day! We cannot merely watch the blind stumble over what they can't see. We are called to go to them, and in love allow God to lift the scales from their eyes. Let us not wait for the dawn of another day, let us aid our Savior and Lord today.

His Cherub

I have a couple pictures I'd love to add onto this blog... but for some reason, well... it's just not working. My apologies.
I started reading Ezekiel today (his name means God strengthens). It all starts off with a vision, the word of the Lord coming, and the hand of the Lord being upon Ezekiel. The tremendous vision has four living creatures in it, later known as cherubim. I've heard the term before, but what are cherubim?
The Old Testament study lexicon on studylight.org defines a cherub as follows;

1. an angelic being
1. as guardians of Eden
2. as flanking God's throne
3. as an image form hovering over the Ark of the Covenant
4. as the chariot of Jehovah (fig.)

Cherubim are always linked with the glory of God; for example, the ark of the covenant had two cherubim atop it. The glory of God came to rest on the throne created by the cherubim's outstretched wings. (See Exodus 25:18-22; 37:7-9; Numbers 7:89; Hebrews 9:5)

Verse 12 of Ezekiel one says "Wherever the Spirit would go, they would go". I want to e like that, to be one so close to God that I become a representative of His glory and holiness and purity and perfection and splendor and majesty.

Ezekiel 1:20 says "Wherever the spirit was about to go, they would go in that direction. And the wheels rose close beside them; for the spirit of the living beings was in the wheels." The wheels are the will of God; where He wanted to go. Their very spirit was in the wheels. Their essence was fulfilling the will of God- how wonderful!

"and there was a radiance around Him. As the appearance of the rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell on my face and heard a voice speaking."Son of man stand up on your feet and I will speak to you."

I can't even imagine the privilege of the cherubim as they carried the throne of the Lord. So great in glory was God on His throne that Ezekiel fell face down. Even in my desire to be a bearer of God's glory like the cherubim I remember what was written in 1 Peter 1:12 about how even angels long to look into the mystery of our redemption in Christ. I thank God for this enormous privilege He has given me through his extraordinary sacrifice. I know am given something greater than the cherubim - I am one for whom Christ shed his cleansing blood.

And for that I am grateful beyond words.

Lamenting & Love

I once was asked what my favorite book of the Bible was, I replied Lamentations was. They asked me when I was fifteen years old. Recently I was thinking, with all of the 4 more years of knowledge I have acquired, how weird of a book that was to choose. C'mon, Lamentations, really? It's 5 chapters of Jeremiah lamenting about the destruction of Jerusalem and expressing sorrow. There is also hope in it though. And, though sorrowful, the pain is expressed so eloquently; I see why it was my favorite book. So many things popped out to me upon reading it - I'll share a couple only.

Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are upon her cheeks. Among all her lovers there is none to comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies.
~Lamentations 1:2
Jeremiah also talks about how if a man divorced his wife and she married another, he would not take her back. He then says "But you have prostituted yourself with many lovers,so why are you trying to come back to me?” (Jer. 3:1)

God lets us leave Him for other, lesser, lovers. It breaks His heart, into a million shards, which become knives stabbing his broken heart, paining Him further. But he lets us do it. He want us to freely choose to love Him, or it means nothing. When we do choose to prostitute ourselves to other lovers, to idols, idols of money, relationships, time, work, anything; why should he let us come back? We just might find ourselves like Jerusalem - bitterly weeping at night, tears streaming down our cheeks. And what if, among all of the friends we have, jobs we work, things we do, places we spend our time, things we can buy - what if none of them can comfort us? All we pour our life into can betray us if we are not pouring ourselves into the right thing. If we love God (love also=obedience) He will not make Himself our enemy. He is near to those who seek Him. So why do we pour so much time into lovers who fail us when we need someone most? I see myself doing this - I spend a lot of time and energy on some friends. There are times when I would go to another "lover" before reading God's love letter to me, or listening to the words He wants to speak to His beloved. No matter how exquisite and eloquently a man can speak to me I will never let him become another lover, he will not take the place of my first Lover. God will have all of me, I pray he keeps me near. I also pray that you will seek your comfort in Him.

I was going to share more, but I'll just end with Lamentations 3:22-26, it speaks for itself...

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

His Love never fails, it stays the same through the ages! Thank God ;)

Desire so enticing

I'm nearing the end of Mark, and this passage gets me every time. I mean here is Jesus is the garden, hours from his betrayal, with 3 of his closest disciples, his friends. He is in terrible agony, and those who say they love him can't even keep their eyes open to pray as well. Here's the passage;

Mark 14
Could you not keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Once more he went away and prayed the same thing (Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will but what you will). When he came back he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation- this is how we avoid temptation (in addition to resisting and fleeing it). The amplified says, "Keep awake and watch and pray [constantly], that you may not enter into temptation". We can't fall asleep spiritually in a world that exhales temptation. We have to allow God to keep our spiritual eyes open, prayer is a way to do this. We usually don't fall asleep when someone is speaking to us- if we are constantly communing with God, spiritual sleep is out of the question.

The spirit is willing but the body is weak. Once when I was trying to fast sugary foods so I wrote that on my hand. And it's true- so terribly true- my spirit wanted to be devoted to God, to have no temptations which draw it away, but my body wanted ice cream so badly!

Jesus prayed "not what I will but what you will". Even though he wanted God to choose a different way, to give him a less bitter cup to drink, he still wanted God's will more. I also must learn to say to God, who can do anything, "Not my own will but yours come as a reality in my life".

This stuck out to me because I want to know the validity of Jesus' words. I have learned that though the spirit is willing the body is weak. But I need to learn to stay away from temptation by watching and praying. In times of prayer and fasting I want to learn to devote myself more fully to God, starting now and continuing forever. I want to learn how to ask for God's will even if my own is so enticing.

Jeremiah 29 not 11

I finished Jeremiah today! I regret to say that I put it down midway through the fall semester, but looking back over the book I found a few things that had stuck out to me enough to be underlined. The book of Jeremiah talks about God's inescapable judgment for his unrepentant people, but his mercy also shows through. Maybe it was hard to read Jeremiah because reading about God's wrath and judgment is not usual. It seems we only hear the "God is love/God loves everyone" part of the message sometimes. Anyhow, the things that stuck out to me.

Jeremiah 29:10, 12-4
I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back...Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, and I will bring you back from captivity.

Calling upon God, coming to Him in prayer - that's something I need to do more often. Though God is speaking to Israel here, we are adopted into his family through Christ. God is saying if we make an effort, if we call out to Him, he WILL listen. IF we seek him with all our heart he will be found by us. No more of this half-hearted seeking, where we chase after God for a day or two and then slip back into our idolatrous worship of things and people and time and money. I'm not even going to say "maybe it's just me" because I know it's not - if every Christian were wholeheartedly seeking God he would be found, and if that was the case our "Christian" nation would be radically changed. So the thing is that we aren't calling out to him, we aren't coming before him in prayer or seeking him with all of our heart. I wish that would change for everyone, but I can only change it in my own life. That's what I'll be striving for, over Christmas break and over my life.

One last thing; Jeremiah 30:21
Their leader will be one of their own;their ruler will arise from among them.
I will bring him near and he will come close to me,for who is he who will devote himself to be close to me?'declares the LORD

the last part of this verse really stuck out to me "who is he who will DEVOTE himself to be CLOSE to me?". Since I liked it I (of course) looked it up in the trusty amplified version of the bible;

"I will cause him to draw near and he will approach Me, for who is he who would have the boldness and would dare [on his own initiative] to approach Me?"

None of us would be strong enough to come to God on our own - we can make our half-hearted, feeble attempts to seek him, and he will be found by us. It's truly desiring him, desiring him enough to chase after him, though we fall a million times, it's getting back up and running towards him again. God must cause us to draw near, for of our own initiative we dare not to approach him. We can't even take credit for our God-seeking-ness then. Pretty much we can take credit for nothing. Yup, that's all.

The Shepherd King

I was reading through Song of Solomon... wow... it is so intense. Talk about love - not just between Solomon and his beloved, but also between Christ, the shepherd king and us, his beloved. How wonderful is this love. Surely it is deeper than I could ever hope to fathom. Obviously we can all get what Solomon meant when he said this or that to his lover (at least in most cases), but how does that apply to Christ and his bride the church?

1:3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.

A banner? All that pops into most people minds are those banner-like advertisements - so why a banner? Searching the web I found a few things, here's one, from (http://www.allaboutprayer.org/gods-banner.htm) talking about God and banners;

"I erect this permanent, immovable banner over you, over your life, proclaiming My love for you. While it is immovable, anchored in the blood of My Son, it responds with a fluid movement to the Wind of the Spirit sent to blow across your heart and life."

His banner over me is love. He is not ashamed of loving us, though we are sinners, though we fall a million times every day, though we are so far below Him, he still loves us. Our bridegroom delights in us. What a crazy thought- that the God of all delights in something so small as me... The fact remains that he loves us, and that love is enough to cover all that would harm us, enough to identify us as His when other lovers try to come and steal us away.

Did you know that in ancient Jewish tradition they recommended this book not be read until age 30 or older? Song of Solomon does seem just plain romantic at times, but God does want to ravish our heart...
9 you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride, you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes. Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride.
16 Let my lover come into his garden and taste it's choice fruits

Let's give him the best of ourselves back, let's cultivate a beautiful garden for Christ to spend time in with us. May our lips be sweet as honey, endeared by Christ's love in us.

In desperate need!

IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

Love is not just blind - it is reasoning. it doesn't just happen - it is an intentional choice. Our love is not God's love but it is inspired by his love. Love requires being spiritually devoted to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. It is God's love for us, and that love only that can bring about and inspire any love in our pathetic beings. His love resides within us. How wonderful. Without God's love in me I am nothing, I can make no melodious music at all. I don't want to be a clanging cymbal - I need Christ completely!

Suffering and Shame - losing it all for your Name

Mark 8:34-5 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it."

Earlier today I was reading about "costly grace" something (several somethings) stuck out to me:
*What has cost God much cannot be cheap for us

* Grace is costly because it compels us to submit to the yoke of Christ &
follow him- it is grace because his yoke is easy & burden light.

*Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross.

I wonder if I cheapen God's grace. Do I just accept God's saving grace and not truly come after Him? How am I denying myself; at all? I mean, I don't buy everything I want, I don't eat ice-cream for every meal, I don't give in to my every desire... Jesus says that we must take up our cross and follow Him. How is that even done? What is our cross? A symbol of suffering, shame, ridicule, rejection, death. Carrying my cross? I guess that means making the deliberate choice to deny my own pleasures and brazenly cling to the cross, though it may bring shame.

Right now I am listening to a song called "Lose it All" by Rush of Fools, here are some lyrics;

Oh oh oh oh, I wanna to lose it all for You
Oh, oh, oh, if it’s the last thing that I do
Oh, oh, oh, the only thing that really matters now
I wanna lose it all for You

It’d be the greatest day
If all the accolades
Were simply thrown away
With nothing left to say
Okay, all right, there is more that I am living for
When I’m Yours

The smartest thing is to give up everything
Only the foolish ones will hold on, hold on
But the fight in me wants to cling to everything
Save the foolish one, I hold on, I hold on


I love that song. All I really know is that, no matter what it takes, I gave my life to God,so I must be willing to lose it all for Him. It should be more than a afterthought as I ask myself if I AM willing to lose my life for the gospel. The gospel is good news, but not always news everyone wants to hear. Am I willing to face the ridicule and rejection of the cross?

Fear Flees in the Face of Belief

Here is what I want to talk about- you don't have to read it all of course, but if you do, here it is: (Mark 5)

My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live." 24So Jesus went with him.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

31"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "

32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

35While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," they said. "Why bother the teacher any more?"


These are what I like to call "sandwich stories" - one thing is happening, another event takes place in the middle, and then the first thing is finished. First thing here is Jairus pleading with Jesus to come put his hands on his daughter so she will be healed and live. So Jesus is going there, as he's going the woman comes up and touches him... after this ordeal some men from Jairus' house come up and are like "Dude, your daughter's dead - no point in bothering the teacher anymore, might as well come home and bury her". Can you imagine what you would have felt like - the what-ifs that would have gone through your head- "What if I could just have got Jesus there faster?" "What if that woman would have just waited to get healed?" "Will my wife hate me when she finds out what I've done?" "How will I ever be able to forgive myself?"... But Jesus intervenes, ignoring those men, and says "Don't be afraid; just believe". And Jesus doesn't let people follow them - Jairus cannot clear himself with witnesses, he just has to trust Jesus, even if everyone else has every reason to believe that would be foolish. Jesus raises his daughter from the dead. Sometimes I get caught up in things - rushing to Jesus to get him to just do this, really quickly, but then sometimes he doesn't go "Poof" and make all problems disappear - sometimes He gives me the strength to endure, to believe in Him even when others can't see what He's doing. I'm learning to trust God with everything, even when it seems foolish, even when I would rather have things my way, He is teaching me that His way is the best way, and I'm starting to agree. So I will continue to pursue Him above every dream and hope of my own, for God rewards those who seek Him. I will learn to not be afraid, as He teaches me to just believe.

A Snare of Passion

I'm not going to preface this- just read it, okay?
Ecclesiastes 7 (Amplified version)

26And I found that [of all sinful follies none has been so ruinous in seducing one away from God as idolatrous women] more bitter than death is the woman whose heart is snares and nets and whose hands are chains. Whoever pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her.

29Behold, this is the only [reason for it that] I have found: God made man upright, but they [men and women] have sought out many devices [for evil]

The Brown Commentary on www.searchgodsword.org put it this way; "I find" that, of all my sinful follies, none has been so ruinous a snare in seducing me from God as idolatrous women (1 Kings 11:3,4, Proverbs 5:3,4, 22:14). As "God's favor is better than life," she who seduces from God is "more bitter than death."

Solomon had what- 300 wives and 700 concubines - that's 1000 sexual partners, obviously breaking one of God's first laws of "one man, one woman, for life". Seriously Solomon? How could someone so wise expect to find a woman of good character amongst his thousand sexual gratify-ers? Not likely.


Whoever pleases God will escape from this sinful, ensnaring woman- how does that work though? We will be pleasing God by loving (obeying) Him. If we are obeying God that will prevent us from compromising sinful situation. If we are seeking after God we aren't going to find ourselves falling in "love" with someone whose hands are chaining us to them (albeit, away from God).

God created us good in his eyes, to be pure like he is pure. But we have found many ways to run away from this- as the New Living Translation says: "But I did find this: God created people to be virtuous, but they have each turned to follow their own downward path". We see God but for some reason we still turn away from Him and fix our eyes on ourselves and other idols, on our hopes and schemes and desires. I want to be virtuous as God created me to be. I want to, I really do, hopefully you, as well, feel the call of God upon your spirit.

InTrials they Trumpet Timber and Topple

Mark 4
16Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."

I like the parable of the sower a lot, this is just a small chunk of it, there's a reason I chose it though. Many people who go to church one Sunday hear the salvation message and get all excited, so they become "saved", which is definitely not a bad thing. BUT their joy for the word disappears almost immediately because they are not rooted in the word. They have just heard one or two (possibly out of context) passages. And what happens when we are not rooted? Trouble and persecution come (because of the word) and then these people quickly fall away. They receive the word with joy immediately, don't get rooted, trial comes and they fall away. That fast. The word is not meant to be fast food that you can immediately consume - Jesus spoke in parables- stories with a deeper meaning that one has to dig for sometimes. We can't chow down one meal of the Word and never eat any again, we have to be constantly feasting on it - nourishing our bodies with it. We can't let worry or wealth's deceitfulness or desires for lesser lovers choke out God. If we let these things grow up in us and if we feed them they will surely choke out the word and make it unfruitful. And if the word isn't bearing fruit what's the point of it being there?

Sight can never see enough

I remember being a little girl, probably about ten years old, reading my Bible and seeing that Solomon was the wisest person who ever existed and would have the most wisdom of anyone ever, and I got jealous. I knew the Bible was truth- so I was quite frustrated that God had to state that so absolutely. But tonight I began reading through what used to be my favorite book of the bible (it's a weird one)- Ecclesiastes.
I realized that I have nowhere near the wisdom of Solomon but a lot of his mistakes in common. For example, read this part of Ecclesiastes 2

1I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" 3 I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.

Not too many verses after Solomon says "what then do I gain by being wise?" I remember asking this when I was younger. I thought it differently - I thought "I have a right to cry or to throw a temper tantrum, etc because that is what a normal child would do right now - it is okay to be mad because that is what is expected." Even though I knew it was wrong to be mad at receiving punishment I deserved I figured most kids my age were not thinking about it like that so no one knew I had. I knew what was right and wrong, but I felt I had nothing to gain by showing that wisdom.

And recently, well, kind of always I have thought in my heart "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good". I like testing things, stretching the limits, sometimes this gets me into trouble. But it does help me totally understand Solomon, except on the wine part. At times I have tried to embrace folly, to lose myself in it, but somehow my head, my logic always stays with me and guides me. At times I hate it, I just want to stop over-analyzing things and go with the flow. How can I do something wrong and at the same time tell myself "this is wrong, you need to stop"? That is the Wisdom God has given to guide me, I have a feeling that, just like Solomon, I will find out that many (most) (actually everything in life but one) is meaningless. I'm learning it - I don't know how long Solomon took on this process, but so far I've spent nineteen years on it. I pray that I listen to God's guidance more attentively and watch where he leads me so I won't have to go through Solomon's whole ordeal.

the half-hearted house

I'm reading Mark, this passage really stuck out to me. Probably because it applies perfectly...

Mark 3
24If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.27In fact, no one can enter a strong man's house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can rob his house.

Lately I've kind of been like a house, and no I'm not adding windows or Persian rugs to myself, what I mean is that I have been a Mark 3:25 house. I cannot possibly hope to stand the test of temptation and trial if I am divided within. How can I hope to ward off what is without when what's within tears me apart? Jesus gives the frank answer I needed to hear- "that house cannot stand". As long as I am divided I can never stand for Jesus. I am sick of being divided, I want to be completely Jesus' bride. I don't want contradictions and latent battles waiting inside. Lying around to jump me and make it even harder to stand. I cannot let anything tie me up - not men, or money, or school, or food, or music. If I let those things become wrapped around me it will be quite easy for me to be robbed. I don't want to miss out on what God has simply because I've become so tied up with the world.

One night stand

Kind of a different approach to tonight's thought from the Bible- the verses will be at the end, but there's a purpose for the placement. Attempt to figure out what verses I will be referencing- How shall a young person keep their way pure? The answer to that is a great piece of wisdom.

Once upon a time there was a one night stand
for she was lost and he was but a lonely man
despite her knowledge she ignored Love's plan
and in one moment chose a one night stand
one night instead of a whole life glorious
she chose to wield her power like a wand
waving her magic they,to each other, respond
that night she did not live a life victorious
if only she had memorized more, a bit more early
but she'd turned from gates luminescent and pearly
but one more verse she had neglected to memorize
no, instead she leaned back, closed her eyes
and decided to try sin on for size
then it was hard, though she tries
saying goodbye was no easier than anticipated
in thoughts sworn to secrecy they'd both participated
it was that door for which an enemy had waited
only hours later tears beg entrance, herself berated
constantly consumed, consistently to chide
so her own heart she's chosen to hide
at least for a while
suppress that silly smile
because that got you into trouble in the first place
and now that you've found out, you've lost the race
proverbial marathon ran for righteousness
seems to have been lost, or soon since
it was my own wickedness, my evil desire
enticing me away to seductive quagmire
at first it seemed all right -I was swept off my feet
till I saw I am being dragged away with your heartbeat
and so I was tempted then
for each one is tempted when
my own evil desire
decided it must sire
or shall I say contrived and connived to conceive
another sin's birth, with a gift in store to receive
my own child's birthday, with its moment of fruition
today death must be birthed, by Truth's definition

James 1: 14-15
14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Wither and Fade

So, I'm a tad competitive and one of my friends recently mentioned to me that he and another his accountability partner were trying to memorize the books of James. I like the Bible too and also want to memorize more of it- and what better book to start on? So I started memorizing James Thursday, how exciting! A chuunk I'm working on that really stuck out to me is James 1:9-11

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.

For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

It seems so backwards... to take pride in what others would pity. Why does one in humble circumstances have a high position? Is this a "last shall be first" type of deal? One in humble circumstances cannot attribute anything good to themselves, to their wealth or knowledge or charisma or social status- these cannot be affectors of change for those who do not have them. The one who is rich is in a low position, and why? Because he will pass away- all that makes him rich by the world's standards won't matter when you go to heaven or hell and don't bring anything much with you. If a rich man's beauty is only in the outer blossom one can see and not found in the depth his roots go into Christ and his Word then he will fade away- he will not be constantly fed from the Source.

B.A. in "Paul"?

I finished up Acts today- one of the most engaging, action packed books I have read in a while. After finishing this I have to say that Paul probably had the best job EVER - why don't we have college degrees in "Paul", or Pauline ministry or something? I guess it's something that can't be just handed to you, it's a deep desire to CHASE after God, better start running now. The very last line of Acts stuck out to me;

Boldly and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ.

So, Paul is pretty much crazily in love with God, either that or plain crazy. Back in Acts 21 the Jews are like "Men of Israel, help us! This is the man who teaches everyone everywhere against our people and our law and this place. And besides he brought Greeks into the temple area and defiled this holy place." A riot starts, everyone is trying to KILL Paul. A commander comes to take him away and he asks if he can speak to the people. He gives his testimony and says "And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name." He gets carted all around, to the Sanhedrin, before a governor, a King, and Caesar in Rome, he preaches everywhere, and people believe! Everywhere he goes people show them unusual kindness, entertain them hospitably, and the like - God was watching out for him. Paul prays for and heals people, many are actually asking to "hear what your views are". People everywhere are talking about the Way. How cool would it be to actually have someone come up and say, let's set up a day and you can come share your views, and then have a bunch of people listening morning till evening as you explain, declare, convince, and quote from the Bible. To me this sounds amazing - can you imagine watching God work in the hearts of people right in front of you. *Sigh* maybe some day God will grant me this longing of my heart...

Starting suicide by shortening secret devotions

If you feel disinclined to pray, or to read your Bible; if when you pray and read your Bible, you have no heart; if you are inclined to make your secret devotions short, or are easily induced to neglect them; or if your thoughts, affections, and emotions wander, you may know that you are a backslider in heart, and your first business is to be broken down before God, and to see that your love and zeal are renewed.
- Charles Finney, LECTURES ON REVIVALS OF RELIGION #XXI

Wow. Why aren't preachers so bold nowadays? If even a fraction of shepherds would be so inclined as to tell us that our hearts are backslidden if we are disinclined to pray and read God's word, well, I think it would be a wake-up call to 97% of the "Christian" population. This is how I feel, I never know that I will come across as judgmental in saying so... I've found this so So SO true in my own life - when I cannot focus on God, or would much rather focus on other things, on things of this world, that is when I begin to backslide. I would be so bold as to assert that most Christians live in a state of backsliding. Here's why I think so;

"According to a recent Gallup poll, about six in ten Americans (59%) say they read the Bible at least on occasion, with the most likely readers being women, non-whites, older people, Republicans, and political conservatives. Readership of the Bible has declined from the 1980s overall, from 73% to 59% today. The percentage of frequent readers, that is, those who read the Bible at least once a week, has decreased slightly over the last decade, from 40% in 1990 to 37% today. About one American in seven reports an involvement that goes beyond reading the Bible. Fourteen percent currently belong to a Bible study group. In terms of frequency of readership, 16% of Americans say that they read the Bible every day, 21% say they read it weekly, 12% say they read the Bible monthly, 10% say less than monthly and 41% say that they rarely or never read the Bible." (www.centerforbibleengagement.org)

And for some reason I feel that of 16% of Americans who SAY they read their Bible every day, (to be frank) some percentage is lying (but let's not get legalistic- the point isn't how often you read your Bible, it is how you read it). Which brings me to the second thing - how does that 16% read their Bible? Is it just to get through the Bible in a year, and not actually absorb or retain anything, is it to find a way to refute it, to win a debate against a non-Christian, or is it hungrily, with passion and desire? I'll be the second to admit that, though I strive to, I do not always read my Bible with as much passion as I would, say a Ted Dekker novel, the shame is on me.

What about shortening secret devotions? Do we ever do that? In light of all our homework, sleep deprivation, bi-weekly chapel, a job, eating, and socializing, not to mention actually attending class, that is okay, right? I mean, honestly God is all knowing, I'm sure he understands... Yeah He does, but I don't think we do. God knows that He is the source of life, and if we neglect Him we will surely perish. I guess we must not know that, or we don't mind killing ourselves. Either/or we are to blame for shortening our devotions, not friends, or food, or professors, or heavy eyelids, and definitely not God - he is blame free. Maybe I'm not preaching to the choir though - maybe you don't even have secret devotions... or maybe you have devotions, but you have them somewhere where EVERYONE can see how holy you are, in that case congratulations Pharisee. I'll admit, I underline stuff in my Bible, and it is always nice when people notice this when we flip to an obscure passage in church. But hopefully, that is not the extent of my reason for highlighters...

Time with Christ is a very intimate thing, you probably wouldn't have sex with ten people gathered around staring at you, would you? I know that personally I feel kind of awkward even with my roomie in the room.

So let's keep the secret secret, and share when God prompts us to, shall we?

Awaken effortful exertion

I just finished Isaiah (as in 30 seconds ago) - I LOVE that book! Anyhow, some verses in my reading today jumped off the page.

64:7-8 No one calls on your name or strives to lay hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us and made us waste away because of our sins. Yet, O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

I feel like our generation needs this message. Isaiah was a prophet of salvation (his name means "the Lord saves") but he never skirted prophecies of judgment. I look around, even at a Christian college, and find too few people calling on God's name. Y'know, amazing things happen when people call on God's name, one of my favorite verses about calling on God's name is Romans 10:12;

"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

So when no one is calling on God's name no one is being saved. If we don't cry out to God why would he listen? If we still think we can pretty much do this all on our own so we casually suggest he come save us - well, why should he listen to that? When we don't call on the Lord we make it obvious that we don't think we need Him.

To strive is "to exert oneself vigorously; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal; to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict; compete; to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance." Are we vigorously stuggling, even against opposition and conflict, to lay hold of God? I feel, for the most part, that we aren't. If any resistance comes our way we usually don't care enough about laying hold of God to resist it. Some other versions of the Bible say;

"There is no one who ... arouses himself to take hold of You" (NASB)
"No one ...makes the effort to reach out to you" (The Message)
"There is no one who... rouses himself to take hold of you" (ESV)
"And no one...awakens and bestirs himself to take and keep hold of You" (Amplified)

It's like we go through life in a deep sleep, God is asking us to stop hitting our alarm clocks and actually get out of bed, AWAKEN from our half-stupor sleep and put forth some effort into seeking Him. Let's actually kindle some desire to grab onto God.

Isaiah put forth effort into seeking God, he gave God's word to an obstinate people, but more than that, he ends up being martyred for his faith, according to Christian and Jewish tradition by being sawn in two.

this is not a cost vs. benefit deal...

In most areas of life it would be pretty stupid to not weigh the pros and cons, in fact, it's a great idea. What about God though? Luke 14:27-30,33 says

27...anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'33 In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

Wow. Talk about intense words from Jesus. We can't call ourselves His disciples if we don't carry our cross AND follow Him. Jesus goes tough places - not only did he carry his cross - he went to it and died there, and he asks us to follow Him? WHAT! This is utter craziness, yeah he rose from the dead on the third day... but what about us? What if it is God's will that we die for the cause of Christ but aren't resurrected? Hmmm, that does not seem like the rosy Christian life I signed up for. Well, that would be my own stupidity then - Jesus clearly tells us to sit down and count the cost. We shouldn't lay a foundation of saying the sinner's prayer/accepting salvation if we haven't first counted the cost. If we end up not being able to live out the life we will be ridiculed, the name of Christ and Christians will be mocked BECAUSE of us - because we did not FIRST sit down and estimate the cost of Christianity. I can tell you right now that it's pricey, but you'll have to sit down yourself and calculate what you must give up - a paycheck, a car, monthly manicures, eating out every Sunday, your freedom, your job, your house, your security, your retirement fund, your life. Jesus might ask for any of these things. You'd better have a list to pull out and show you sat down and estimated the cost, and when you totaled it up at the bottom the value of all of that was nothing compared to the love of Christ. If God doesn't outweigh everything, if you aren't willing to give up everything for him then don't try to build a tower you can't finish. If we are holding onto something, anything, and unwilling to give it up, we cannot be Jesus' disciple (one who adheres to His doctrines. Because if we were His disciple we would realize that He may ask for the very thing we want to hold onto. So we must decide; would we rather have anything over Christ? If we would choose something over Him we should not waste time on laying a foundation until we have counted the cost and found Christ worthy of whatever small price we must pay.

Count the cost and carry your cross
Choose to chase Christ

Unshakable

Reading through Acts I have encountered some interesting, and little known events. I just read something that I thought was very noble. Let me give you some background on it though (this is very interesting to me). So, Paul, etc is staying at a guy named Phillip's house. He has four unmarried daughters (how many did he start out with?), the cool thing is; they prophesied. Prophet Agabus moseys on down from Jerusalem, comes to Paul, takes his belt and proceeds to tie his own hands and feet with it as he delivers the prophecy that the Jerusalem Jews will bind him up and give him over to the Gentiles. The people are all like "No, Paul, you can NOT go - you just heard the prophecy yourself!" In Acts 21:13 Paul replies;

"What do you mean by weeping and breaking my heart like this? For I hold myself in readiness not only to be arrested and bound and imprisoned at Jerusalem, but also [even] to die for the name of the Lord Jesus."

Finally the people (once they see his determination) agree that the will of the Lord should be done.

There have been times (literally and figuratively) when I have been one of the people, begging another not to go, or others have pleaded that I stay. It's hard to surrender to the Lord's will in both cases. We naturally want to hold on to people we love, but sometimes we must let them go so God's greater good can come into being. I certainly don't want to be the girl who broke someone's heart with her pleas to stay so much that they would not go do God's will. And likewise, I want to be able to say, as Paul, that I am ready to be arrested, bound, imprisoned, even ready to die for the name of my Lord Jesus if need be. It's a scary thought, but one I want to learn to embrace; especially if I plan on being on the foreign mission field someday...

Stand unshakable in service for Christ!

chaste

"As chastity belts were mostly made of precious materials (inlaid silver with engravings), some historians assert they were given to women as a present from their husbands or lovers in order to encourage them to be faithful."

They had such weird contraptions in the middle ages. An interesting concept though, and with only one person having the key to your virginity, I think that is an excellent idea. If only there was something like that nowadays...

sincere devotion

I was sitting in my room last night, around 10:30, and I was going to read some of my lovely Bible... but then I remembered that I brought it into the cafeteria and left it there (of course it was locked now!), I was heartbroken. I was very grateful to get my Bible back this afternoon. I had no idea how attached I was. Anyways, this afternoon I read Acts, chapter 21 specifically was amazingly enlightening. Acts 20:36-8 really struck me, it kind of describes what happened when Paul left the Ephesian elders. (This is an Ella paraphrase)
First he referenced a saying of Jesus (see prev. blog) "It is more blessed to give than receive". After saying that he knelt down with them all and prayed. Everyone was weeping as they embraced and kissed him. They were grieved because he had said they might never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship where they parted ways.
So a few things I'd like to pinpoint;
They knelt,
prayed together,
wept,
embraced,
kissed,
grieved,
and accompanied Paul to the ship.
See what devotion characterized their relationship? First, devotion to Christ, then to each other. Kneeling affirms the majesty and reverence of Christ, it is an act of submission; they were submitted to Christ. They prayed together; there was a great confidence that God heard them, they prioritized talking to God even in the emotionally tumultuous situation Paul's farewell had created. However, they still wept; they cared about Paul so much they wept upon his imminent departure. They were real with their emotions. They embraced and kissed; both physical ways to display the love one's feeling inside. At times I still wonder why we don't "greet each other with a holy kiss"? I mean ,there probably aren't very many people I'm close enough to that I would feel comfortable doing so, but it still seems like a good practice. They did not try to cover up their true feelings about never seeing him again - they grieved that fact, but that did not inhibit their display of love. They went out of their way to accompany Paul to his ship in their final farewell.
There's much we can learn about Christ-like devotion in those few verses.
Man! I didn't even get to Acts 21, but I'm written out for now...
till later...

Money-less folks, come buy this...

So, I was reading along through Isaiah (one of my favorite books) today, and I found what I thought was a paradox - read below, and see if you know what I'm talking about;

"Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live". ~Isaiah 55

As a college student I don't have very much money, when I read "you who have no money", I got very excited because, well, I don't have very much money. How do we buy something that has no cost with no money? I was a little confused, and knew there was something more to these words, so I looked up what the amplified had to say:

1WAIT and listen, everyone who is thirsty! Come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Yes, come, buy [priceless, spiritual] wine and milk without money and without price [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing].

2Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your earnings for what does not satisfy? Hearken diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness [the profuseness of spiritual joy].

3Incline your ear [submit and consent to the divine will] and come to Me; hear, and your soul will revive; and I will make an everlasting covenant or league with you, even the sure mercy (kindness, goodwill, and compassion) promised to David.

The only price, the only way we can "buy" this then, is by surrendering ourselves to accept the blessing God wants to freely offer to us. I read a commentary on this (http://www.enduringword.com/commentaries/2355.htm), it was very helpful, some of the following thoughts were spurred on by what I read on there...

#1 God is trying to get the attention of us all, if we are thirsty and hear about free water why wouldn't we come get it? If we are TRULY thirsty we will find a way to quench our thirst (which is clearly identified here!)
#2You can't put a price on something that's priceless, so it has to be free if God ever wants us to have his living water (which he totally does!)
#3 If we truly hear God, and consent to his plans for our lives our souls will be enlivened, he will bring what was dead and lifeless to life. Submitting to God we will have the promise of His compassion towards us.
#4 Let's not waste our earnings on things that won't satisfy us... I mean, I don't get it - we, I, know what satisfies - we know it's God, and living in His will, but we still waste SO much time and energy on things that were never meant to satisfy us. Why am I not putting my full effort into God??? Lately there are days where I just go to class, meetings, work, and plan on coming back to my room and just reading my Bible and playing my guitar - it seems to be all I really want, what I really live for, I haven't been too keen on homework lately; God just seems to matter so much more. But I know He wants me to give all that its proper attention, as long as I am first and most often attentive to Him.

Purpose through pain

So I was reading my Bible this (Friday) morning, in Isaiah, and a verse really stuck out to me, it was verse 11 "after the suffering of his soul he will see the light of life and be satisfied". Christ's pain accomplished God's purpose. Without His death there would be no life, no salvation. In the amplified everything is, well... amplified a bit, here; read this:
Isaiah 53:10-11
Yet it was the will of the Lord to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief and made Him sick. When You and He make His life an offering for sin [and He has risen from the dead, in time to come], He shall see His [spiritual] offspring, He shall prolong His days, and the will and pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.

He shall see [the fruit] of the travail of His soul and be satisfied; by His knowledge of Himself [which He possesses and imparts to others] shall My [uncompromisingly] righteous One, My Servant, justify many and make many righteous (upright and in right standing with God), for He shall bear their iniquities and their guilt [with the consequences, says the Lord].

*His life is an offering for sin.
*When we take the life-offering He gave to atone for sin we become his spiritual offspring!
* After the suffering/travail of His soul he will see the light he conquered death and darkness to bring burning within us, this will satisfy him.
*Though his soul suffers the fruit of his travail/light of life will satisfy Him
*by knowledge of himself he will justify, and make many righteous/ in right standing with God.
*He took the consequence for our sins (death) and bore both our iniquities, our sins, and the punishment for them, which was death. He overcame death (the consequence of our wrongdoing) and the wrong (sin) itself. In his death we can find life!

So much to learn, how amazing that I can read the will of God! For this I am exceedingly grateful. God has proven himself faithful and continues to give me revelation and meet me in the place of my need, exactly when I cry out to him in this dry and weary land.

Give or take a little, it's better to get?

So I've been reading through the books of Acts recently, and I love it! An intriguing and engaging account of the acts of the apostles and occurrences in the early church. As I was reading today I kept my eyes open for what they actually did back then, and in the few chapters I learned a good deal; here's some of it...

Paul traveled and spoke words of encouragement to people (e.g. fellow Christians in Greece - see Acts 20)

On the first day of the week (for us that's Sunday!) they came together and "broke bread", Paul also spoke to the people (And talked till midnight. So this guy ends up falling asleep and out the third story window; obviously he dies. Paul's like "Don't be alarmed, he's alive!" They eat some more and he talks till daylight. Two key things; breaking bread and talking/preaching, with a miracle thrown in too.

Paul lived a life serving the Lord with humility and tears, through all his trials, he has not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful.

He taught both publicly and from house to house, to Jew and Gentiles, declaring they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in Jesus our Lord. (Acts 20:20)

He testified to the gospel of God's grace

he proclaimed the WHOLE will of God.

He supplied his needs and the needs of his companions.

He found it more blessed to give than receive.

Y'know, I think that just might be something to strive for in modern Christianity, do you think so? I really like verse 35 "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive." Jesus said it, so we know it's truth. Then again, do we live like we believe that? I don't think so, at least I don't really. Think about it - if we thought it was more blessed to give we wouldn't always interject our two cents into the conversation as a friend pours out their heart and passions, we would truly care about what people had to say when we ask "how are you doing?" instead of anxiously waiting to say how we are today, we would give others the last slice of apple pie, or the biggest one, we wouldn't be so afraid of hurting a little bit that someone else could be more comfortable. So I don't feel that we TRULY think it is more blessed to give than receive.

And Christmas- how could I forget about that? If it were more blessed to give than receive we wouldn't make mile long Christmas lists and gorge ourselves on ham and fudge- we would go out to the hurting and use what we would spend on ourselves to bring a child joy with a simple toy, or we would serve the homeless our luxurious Christmas meals, and even more we'd eat with them, and give them a listening ear, caring heart, quality time. But will anyone do that? I wish I could say "I will", but I don't think I can...

Tonight there are...

So many thoughts swirling in my mind, so many emotions battling within my heart, do I let the war wage on?

better than life

I love worshiping, so when I felt my desire to go to our worship chapel ebbing I wondered what was wrong. It was just one of those whirlwind mornings, when I got up too late and had to rush around finding clothes to put on, my brush, sketchpad,etc; hectic in the small sense of the word. As I was painting in class the Psalm I had read that morning flitted in and out of my mind. I read Psalm 63, I love it -

O God, you are my God, I earnestly seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body
longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Because your
love is better than life my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as
I live,and in your name I will lift up my hands.

I had to sit down in a hidden nook outside and read this Psalm again before chapel to remind myself why I worship Him. I don't go to our worship chapel just because it's required, I don't go there because I know "the band", or because of the amazing music, or the heightened emotions, or to hug all of my friends - I go there to worship because God's love is better than life. If his love is better than all aspects of life then I certainly need to continue praising Him though life can be less than ideal at times. Because that's not why I worship- I don't worship because my emotions are all lined up and pointing to it, or because God seems to be blessing my day, I worship because His love is better than life, whether that life is down in the dumps or peachy keen, in either case His LOVE is still better than life! So when you don't feel like worshiping, get over yourself and the emotions your life is prescribing, and remind yourself that His love is better than life. Worship is more than a feeling, it's a conscious choice, one that I have chosen to choose today, I hope you will choose to choose that today also. By the way, chapel was great- because of God- and I ended up being extremely blessed. There's some stuff in Isaiah I read today that I'd like to share with you later- after the class I must go to now, perhaps?

HIS LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE

7 times a day

In Psalm 119:164 David states the facts;
"Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws."
So I've been stuck on this since last night, this morning I woke up early, scarfed down my cheerios with pineapple floating in soymilk, dropped off my enormous sketchpad in the art building and found a secluded corner to read and pray and think alone. I found this verse and looked over it again, and I wrote, asking myself where 7 times a day would fit in. I came up with these times for myself:
1= as soon as I wake up
2= when I eat breakfast
3= after my first class
4= before/during lunch
5= mid-afternoon
6= at/before dinner
7=before I go to bed
So there are seven distinct times throughout the day. Seven seems to be used a lot throughout the Bible, so I decided to do a little research... The number seven occurs 392 times in the Bible (which also happens to be the sum of 7 squared and 7 cubed!) That is tangential, the important thing is that seven is fullness or completeness. Then is David really saying, "I completely praise you throughout the full day"? Is he saying he lives and breathes a life of praise? It seems so.
Back to praising God 7 times a day- if I am going to do that I need to know how to praise God - what different ways can I do this (according to the Bible)? So I checked out my Bible's concordance. I found some interesting stuff (of course - this is the Bible we're talking about!)
Psalm 69:30 talks about praising God's name in song
Psalm 71:22 David will praise with the harp
Luke 19:37 says to praise God in a loud voice
James 3:9 says with the tongue we praise our Lord
Acts 10:46 talks about speaking in tongues and praising God
1 Corinthians 14:16 praising God with your Spirit
There are so many nuances in the verses I have just listed - it's hard to pick apart scripture and make lists, it's meant to be read, for one to see the whole picture, which is why I suggest you dust off your own Bible and READ it!
I have soooooo much more to say on this, but for now I have to return to busy college-kid life - I will be back though,sometime...
I still want to write about what we praise in God, expound on how we do it, if there are better ways for different people, or at different times and places, what does God like most about praise - does praise differ from worship, can a non-Christian praise God? So many ????????????????????????'s
Praise God today!

He's Enough for me

Today was a day with thoughts rushing through my mind like New York natives all trying to jam into the subway. But the busy-ness of it helped me to enjoy the rest I got even more. Though fast-paced, today was simply lovely, after painting for two hours it was 10, so I boogied on back to my room and pick up my guitar. I practiced a worship song I really enjoy, called "Enough". I adore the chorus:
All of you is more then enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
you satisfy me with your love
and All I have in you is more then enough
It makes me question myself though- is God completely fulfilling my every thirst and need? Is His love completely satisfying me? Is simply knowing God is by my side enough for me? And if it isn't why not? I refuse to sing a song if I don't agree with the lyrics, so sometimes I have to pause and reflect on the chorus and ask if God really is enough for me. And of course He is, but do I let him fulfill the role in my life of complete satisfier? Or do I search for meaning in other things?
It seems all that I could find meaning in has crumbled- I used to be a stellar student, you know the type, straight A's and shocked if I got a B, but this semester I'm having to accept less than what I'm accustomed to. And maybe it's just because I'm not getting my grades handed to me. I've never had to work extremely hard for them, what if I am not willing to put the time into it that they actually requirI always need to center my priority list around God, and not the other way around. Make sure you do that too, otherwise He'll get pushed out by way less important things.
Sweet Dreams ... (I did have a very sweet dream last night, perhaps I'll write about the role dreams play in my life sometime - but not tonight.)

PS about the picture, it's by Scott Ambler, author of Agile Modeling, explanation of the line: "anything to the left of the line implies that you still have work to do, anything to the right implies that you've done too much work".
He goes on to say that if something is JBGE (just barely good enough) then doing more work on it is clearly a waste: something fulfills its intended purpose then any more investment in it is simply busy work. I agree with parts of this, but disagree in some cases. Anyhow, I thought it kind of went with being good enough.

Free from Captivity

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

Why do we fret over ourselves, as if we were our own property that we had to worry about? We don't worry about other people's dogs or pizza or boots, or even their lives, if that is true, and if we are truly not our own then why would we worry about ourselves. Whose are we? In Isaiah 43 God says "you are Mine". We are God's because he has ransomed us; He paid a price for us instead of leaving us captives to sin. We all know this, or we say we do - but how could something as radical as this not change our lives? Christ bought us with blood, what do we owe in return?

Another thing God says here: "I have summoned you by name". He didn't just shout out "hey you" into a crowd, he personally created and formed you and summoned you - you are His. To summon is to call upon to do something specified; to call together by authority; to rouse into action.

Our heads are pretty sure of the fact that God says, "I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you,thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome". So we know he has called us to do something specified, sometimes we question what it is, and at times why we should obey this summoning anyways. Well, to summon is to call together by authority. God's authority lies in the redeeming blood Christ shed, and the fact he knit us together, actually just about everything gives Christ authority. And on that note, remember how the sinner's prayer involves professing Jesus as both Savior and Lord? Lord means the person in control of your life, that's a big thing to commit to, but you said it. So God has something specific planned for your life and the power to both ask you to obey his plan and to make it work.

The last part of the definition of summon is "to rouse into action". God is pretty much shouting your name and saying "there's someone hurting over there - could you help them out, show them a little of my love?" do you hear Him? That's part of being a Christian is listening to and acting on the call to action. Yeah it's tough, but not as tough as finding someone to pay the price to set you free from sin's captivity.