The Divine and Dust

Today a friend brought up a quote C.S. Lewis has - I think she was referring to this popular one found in The Weight of Glory;

“A man’s physical hunger does not prove that man will get any bread; he may die of starvation
on a raft in the Atlantic. But surely a man’s hunger does prove that he comes of a race which
repairs its body by eating and inhabits a world where eatable substances exist. In the same
way, though I do not believe (I wish I did) that my desire for Paradise proves that I shall
enjoy it, I think it a pretty good indication that such a thing exists and that some men
will. A man may love a woman and not win her; but it would be very odd if the phenomenon
called “falling in love” occurred in a sexless world.”

It reminded me of a song Brooke Fraser sings with pieces of that quote in it;
"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary
Then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
... ... ...
Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become"

Since I heard it I've really liked it.

Guess thoughts of this sort have been bumbling around in my head for a bit - when looking for the quote I stumbled across an atheist website explaining why what C.S. Lewis had to say was an invalid argument and we don't know food exists because we have hunger but only when we actually find food; likewise they said we don't know God exists because we desire a superior, loving, creator-being but because we find Him. The argument seemed rather sterile and heartless to me; and our hearts are a component to be reasoned with - not just our minds!

I actually went to chapel today, and rather than being mildly annoyed with contemporary Christian worship songs like I usually am there was sang that I kind of appreciate; "Where you go I'll Go" by JesusCulture. Some lyrics that made me think were these;

Jesus only did what he saw you do
He would only say what he heard you speak
He would only move when he felt you lead
Following your heart following your spirit

How could I expect to walk without you
When every move that Jesus made was in surrender
I could not begin to live without you
For you alone are worthy and you are always good

Though the world sees and soon forgets
We will not forget who you are and what you’ve done for us

Jesus has been on my mind - who did He say he was, what did others say he was, did they say the same sorts of things? The words about how Jesus wasn't doing his own thing, but the Father's - not his own will but God's struck me. I speak (usually) when I want to speak, out of pride or arrogantly thinking I can solve someone's problems or whatever other excuses I think of to say anything. I feel my failure to follow God, and especially identifying with the world forgetting God so easily - we say we won't forget God during these spiritual highs but are like the Israelites: seeing, adoring, and promptly forgetting both God and the miracles he's done for us. I thought about how I can try to live without Jesus, but why would I?

I (think I) would still feel that loving people and serving others above myself is a purpose- if not the purpose- for life. I'd like to deny a lot of things about the Christian faith - in a speech I recently gave about war and pacifism - "I wanted to be persuaded by Captain Moon that going to war is right - because it's hard to believe in stuff like pacifism and love and Jesus. When Peter sliced off that soldier's ear Jesus healed the man, and I think that Jesus would piece back that young Japanese schoolgirl who got bombed to shreds." But these are things that are at least hard for me to deny.

Who knows about all their feelings and thoughts and all such abstract things, but I do know that God exists and Jesus is an integral part of His message to humankind. How can I know the message of the Divine if I am only dust with His breath?