Sifted by Satan

I really didn't think I'd have much of anything to say... I'm finishing up Luke- and everyone knows all about passion week and the crucifixion. Couldn't have been more wrong though- what I have read so far today is exactly what I needed (course I didn't know that till I read my Bible- we're like that sometimes y'know, dreading something that will end up being wonderful) So many things stuck out today- think Luke 22

Jesus reprimands his power hungry disciples by saying "let him who is the greatest among you become like the youngest, and him who is the chief and leader like one who serves". That got me thinking- what does he mean to be like the youngest? I don't know how other people were when younger, I only know how I was. When young I wasn't trying to get "leadership experience" or build my resume or rule over people - I mean, sure I may have been a bit bossy, but usually those things were far from my mind. Maybe that's what Jesus meant- to stop caring about the positions the world values so much and become something they spurn- a servant. (Not always the most impressive thing to put on a resume)

Jesus says to Peter, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." He uses Peter's previous name, three times. Peter vehemently protests, saying "I am ready to go with You both to prison and to death". I do believe that is what Peter wanted to do, what he hoped he would do. But things didn't turn out that way... "And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter recalled the Lord's words, how He had told him, Before the cock crows today, you will deny Me thrice.And he went out and wept bitterly [that is, with painfully moving grief]. - this is SO far from what Peter said he would do- from what he wanted to do. His heart was wracked with the pain and shame of what he did. He ends up returning to his trade, sure of his unworthiness. Yet when Christ rises he comes and calls him to feed His sheep. Jesus says that he will build his church with Peter. How could Jesus do this? He offered another chance to someone who had completely and utterly denied him? To one who, even though Jesus prayed that his faith not fail, had utterly failed. Jesus told him to strengthen his brothers when he turned back too. How can God use someone so weak to give strength? It's hard to accept all of this- I have failed Christ so often in my short life- I say I will not deny him, but my actions contradict that sometimes - and it does break my heart- for this is not how it should be. I guess I must keep praying that I do not fall into temptation, and if I fall asleep when praying I'll just have to get up and pray that I won't fall into temptation.

God is incredible, in a way that entirely goes beyond my understanding- how can I possibly understand such extravagant love and inexhaustible grace? I stand amazed.