Wooden flutes graced with brown lips
clever salsemanship techniques
but not enough to halt a stream of
“no gracias”
it's what we've been told to say.
For some of us it's all we know how to.

But when I can sit and draw
and you can stop selling stuff for a second.
we talk about stuff that isn't stuff.
Where am I from and what am I doing – here?
It's fun to sit in parque central-
most of us rush through here.
I don't want to.

Flor, fifteen anos, tried to sell me
4 or 5 table runners
they're beautiful, but who uses tableclothes -
except on picnic tables.
Woven in aquamarine, sienna, lavenders, and crimsons
this is too beautiful for a picnic table.

9 years old, she's selling gum – all she can afford.
Why can't we afford to give 1 quetzal for her gum?
I only had 5 quetzales, she had 0 change.
Maria came up, another with table-runners.
(I don't know the word in English)
They all start out trying to sell, but I rarely can buy.
I never really want to...
you (I) can't just ignore the friend I've made,
after 15 or 20 minutes.
I know I saved 5 or 10 people from
the everpresent “no gracias”
But I couldn't save myself.

How can I say no? I told her the scarves were striking:
works of art really – not from sweatshops -
not a shop of sweat anyways – only her own
- and maybe tears too after a long day
unlooking, distant tourists, with money,
distracted by all the sights to see --
through a pixelated, overpriced cyclops
easy to overlook short, wrinkled women
and young, dark, children.

“Hay muchos extranjeros?”
“Yes, but not many sales.”
A seat and a smile and a sale.
A rest y reir y retrato; like a pavoreal – that's what we'd say in the states.
In the states would we say “no gracias” to Wal-Mart or McDonalds or Shell?
Why is n't it harder with 2 brown eyes and 1 simple smile.

Chocolate Dreams and City Fumes

Let me tell you about Chocolate Bob.
Originally from Phoenix, Arizona Bob's lived in Guatemala around 30 years and in Antigua for 2 of those years. He started off his chocolate business with coconut-carmelized honey covered in chocolate. Today he sells fine chocolates in many cafes around Antigua. (Like Y Tu Pina Tambien - that means "and your pineapple also" - there are some fun names down here!)

I learned more about chocolate in the hour or two spent with Bob than I ever knew.

Apparently Chocolate comes from a fruit.
The Cacao tree makes these giant papaya-looking fruits.
Kind of like a pomegranate a bunch of seeds are inside encased in this sweet, juicy, flesh (we ate that part!).
You let these seeds ferment and dry out and then your roast them.
The process gets a lot more complicated after this...

When David and I first walked into his small chocolate factory a giant wheel spinning in a bowl brimming with melting chocolate caught my attention. Feeling cooler than Charlie in the Chocolate Factory we sat down with Bob to learn more about his Chocolate passions and share mugs of the best hot chocolate I've ever had.

According to Bob, chocolate is a science. He's kind of inspired me to grow cacao trees in my bedroom - except I don't really have a bedroom.

All that to say, the folks here in Antigua are extremely friendly, and a lot of them love what they do.

Like Alex, the guy selling flutes in the park yesterday... I was drawing a nearby horse and carriage. When he came up, wanting to sell me a flute I can't play. After a few "no gracias" he sat down and talked. He got around to asking me what kind of pencil I'd need to draw people.
"It depends."
"On how dark their skin is?"
He wanted me to draw a picture of him - I didn't get that until he asked how much he'd have to pay me.
"Nada- Necessito a practicar - dibujas y espanol."
It was great practice for me and a funny experience for us both - tourists would walk by and stare, another artist came over to watch for a bit, and an older saleswoman came up just in time for a joke. He was a funny guy, and at the end took a friendship bracelet off of his wrist and tied it onto mine.
"So you won't forget me, Alicia."

Excitement and Errors in Guatemala

A lot has been happening in Guatemala - first of all- it's simply magical - there are always horses in Parque Central, and horse-drawn carriages with (mostly) tourists in them trotting down the cobblestone roads. Reminds me that someday I'd like a really nice - not car- but horse. Grass is also cheaper than gasoline.

There are a lot of spontaneous (so it seems) musical performances. They usually involve panpipes - an instrument I've tried in the past to master, but have failed. One night our whole group of students from Spring Arbor went to a restaurant Pena del Sol Latino, and there was an Andean-styled musical group performing. The music was haunting and joyful, expressing their emotions so honestly. Of course it was a night I forgot to bring my camera (of all the times to forget!) So, instead of snapping photos that likely wouldn't turn out anyways, I pulled out a brown paper bag and purple pen (the only "art" supplies I had) and began to draw the musicians. There was a young boy walking around trying to sell us "extranjeros" (foreigners) bracelets, scarves, and assorted jewelry. We were all saying "no gracias" to his wares. He had just tried to sell me something when he noticed I was drawing, he paused, and I could feel him staring at me as I drew. It saddened me that he didn't have time to just do something like I did. I've learned that time is a luxury most of us have too much of.

This Sunday our host mom brought us to see a parade. It ended up being the wrong day, but I got a chance to watch this "San Miguel muralist" at his work. I smiled at the boys sitting nearby and watching him. Art is always so entrancing.

I also got my first ride on a bonafide "Chicken Bus" for a fare of only 3 quetzales - that's around 50 cents. Of course the scenery here is beautiful, and the bus ride was grand- I was doubting the name "chicken bus" (supposedly some passengers will transport chickens on their laps) until the bus ride back from an organic macademia nut farm we stopped at. Sure enough, there was a boy sitting next to me with - not a chicken - but a dove! We talked for a bit - turns out he was a motorcycle mechanic bringing the dove back to Antigua as a gift.

Parque Central is the place for - well, selling stuff we probably don't need to foreigners, but besides that, for fun! Bubbles, tostadas, flutes, stray dogs, and exotic fruits can all be found here.

Some pretty significant cultural things have happened since getting here - voting, which was (ironically?) September 11. Those voting centers sure were packed too - it's very important to all the businesses that all their workers get to vote; they'll give them several days off to bike or bus back to their hometowns to vote in. September 15 was Independence Day - we watched the flag raising in Parque Central and listened to a speech. (My favorite line was "No quiero abburir" which roughly translates "I don't want to bore you." Ha! Famous words from many politicians.)

I love being here, but my heart is really burdened to find some way to help the people around me. There's so much I have - just because I'm from the US - that they don't get. Even education - the government here is so corrupt, my tutor was telling me, that sometimes they don't pay teachers or doctors for three months. She said, "In the end it hurts the children the most." They're not just lacking quality education - there are many that go hungry and are malnourished - this isn't just stuff that happens in Africa. And it's really starting to get under my skin that we, as Spring Arbor students studying abroad, find it okay to spend 120 quetzales on a single meal while so many people are literally starving around us! I don't know what to do, but I'm praying and looking for ways to reach out.

Stuck

Sometimes I feel like this leaf. Stuck. But God is with me always, even when I feel stuck in a rut. I know that, but knowing the truth doesn't always change the way we feel about it -sadly. Soon I will be free to fly on the winds of life though - like that leaf never was.

Gallows, Ferris Wheels, and Kiwi Sorbet

Today was one of the best dates I've ever went on! It was shopping at Sams' and Wal-Mart like usual (3 1/2 flatbed carts of food...

) but then I decided to see more than the grocery stores in Fort Smith, Arkansas. That was when my adventures really started. Robert and John were senior citizen volunteers

on the trolley

and were thrilled to tell me all about Belle Starr and Judge Parker - a female outlaw and a judge with a hanging fetish; apparently he once hung

79 people at once. That was sobering - I've only hear of hanging from the book of Esther where Haaman - ironically - is hung on the gallows he prepared for Mordecai. These hanging stories sounded nothing like that though. Anyhow, I hopped off the train and rushed - barefoot over the dusty Arkansas sun-heated path - to the meeting of the two rivers; one being the Arkansas River. I clambered down sheets of shale rock and reached giant boulders on the edge of the river, after dipping my foot in I seriously considered just swimming across to Oklahoma (on the other side of the river only!) but the water looked incredibly dirty, and I had no idea what the currents were like. (Good thing I didn't, as 2 Arkansas natives told me later).

After walking through the woodsy area of the park I came back out to civilization - I had seen the ferris wheel

start to make its rounds through the city sky. I went over, expecting some ridiculous fee; nope, only $1 for the most fantastic ferris

wheel ride ever! Mike, a guy who worked at the amusement park, chatted with me for a quite a while and told me about a cave in his hometown and the stalactites in Devil's Den park... thinking it sounds like an adventure for next weekend! I've never been in a cave before ;( I walked around and just enjoyed nature, views of not-so-faraway mountains, wide rivers, and historic buildings everywhere.

Driving home I stopped at The Immaculate Conception Church

(gigantic and a feat of design!) Totally walked in on a wedding practice (what, I heard beautiful organ music, what could you expect?!) Moving on down the road almost drove past this teensy-weensy little shop called "Delicias" I had to stop in - the sign read "100% natural homemade ice-cream". If that isn't tempting you must be lactose intolerant! In any case, I settled on Kiwi Sorbet - I asked the man scooping what brand the ice-cream was. "We get the fruit, cream, and mix it all up ourselves." The sign was for-real and it was the best sorbet I've ever, ever had!!

I like life, especially when it involves a lot of time with God and random strangers, whose lives I can pour into for a few moments.

Arkansas Skies

Arkansas skies, with birds that fly and bats that swoop
so much, like stars and tears, fall from this sky
a blanket over poverty

unseeing eyes looking down;
seeing abuse
spotting lonely
watching houses blown away
like the day I picked it up-
a little girl's summer dress
-blown into neighboring trees
before the wind finger the hem
dancing innocently around her ankles

Arkansas skies, I still ask why
and how, when and where
will we become the people we're called to be?

So many sights have been seen here,
so many memories will be left in this state
memories that have no place to stay in my mind
and many of these memories still very fine
though fine doesn't cancel out the pain
-the pain of the hurting I have seen.
On the inside more hurt than the outside seems.