Windows and Widows

Through Fairytales and shattered dreams
broken, derelict, ripping at the seams
I see my soiled life as it is -
far from Prince Charming's wish

- but aren't we all just
broken people?
fallen tears, which must
crowd under steeple

Past stained glass windows
there are stained, glass widows
:are windows worth more than widows?

Windows nowadays run about $300 a pane
but colored sand won't heal their pain
how do windows help widows?

Sure our glass is prettier
than a widow's mass
(with only water and stale bread)
we continue to feast on our dead (Messiah)
Because He's sure not alive
when I can't meet her eye
,hear her plea for safe shelter
we lock doors so none can enter
"Let's protect our windows,
(and reject our widows)"

When the orphans cry
dowse their tears real fast
cause wood organs die
with wet tears from the past

Widows and orphans; how can I ever love the least
while worrying we've not enough food for our feast

Let us fast till all can feast!

Harrowing Spring Break Adventures in Pittsburgh

That's a collage of some happenings in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - the take-off and landing spot of our road-trip. Amanda, our CouchSurfing host was unique; she wrote a song in French with accordion and guitar parts, so I helped her out by (trying) to play the guitar part as she chummed along on the accordion and sang. It's fun to play with an accordionist - do it if you ever get the chance!

Pittsburgh is also where we were drawn into an Indian art gallery for a "Landmark reform" which is an extension of the Hare Krishna religious movement (Americanized that would be the Krishna Consciousness movement. I believe the workshop leader, David, thought we were going to stay. They told us about all the lives this "higher consciousness" has changed. There came a point for me to choose to proclaim Christ or to remain silent. Not of my own bravery I spoke up; "When you speak of harboring forgiveness and how this workshop would help, we - or at least I - already forgive, because we serve someone who asks us to forgive." ...6 hours later... "Hi ladies, how was your day?" It was David, in his vehicle, driving by just as we were worn out as could be. He gave us a ride home (how many Christians would stop to inquire about the days of someone they had just met, someone who had turned down their evangelistic attempts, and take them to a home out of their way, at their own expense????) and showed us Pittsburgh from the side of a mountain - stunning.

Amongst other things, the car ride brought up conversation of how David's wife of 22 years was a product of an arranged marriage. I confessed that I had told my grandparents, when I was 14, that I wanted them to arrange a marriage for me. What kind of a kid thinks like that? Perhaps my own folly is clear to me at times. He was taken aback when the others voiced some similar opinions. I wonder how most American young adults feel about arranged marriage...?

Well, I'll write about our Spring Break trip in chunks of the cities. Next up: New York City.

Lent is upon me!

A few months ago I was excited at the thought of Lent. And then I forgot about it. Until this week... Last year I deleted my facebook, stopped initiating things with guys, and spent 40 minutes a day in the Word. This year I think that prayer definitely needs to be a focus - prayer is so powerful and I'm not taking advantage of that. That means at least 5-10 minute minimum in prayer a day. I know that sounds measly - but I'd rather have a "measly" commitment than none at all, or one I can't keep. I really grew from the 40 minutes of scripture a day, but I think I will commit to reading the Bible daily and journaling/writing about a verse or two that stuck out to me. And memorizing - that's important, so I'm going to memorize Romans 8 - it has 38 verses. A verse a day keeps the devil at bay? I don't know about that but it certainly slows my sinful thoughts in their tracks!

I feel like I should give something up, since that is the traditional Lenten thing. So, I will give up 1 meal a week, and pray or serve during that time.

1.) 5-10 minutes of prayer
2.) Daily Bible reading + journal entry
3.) Memorize Romans 8
4.) Fast one meal a week and devote the time to God

Hold me accountable - ask me my verse for the day if you see me, or what God's been teaching me in His Word.

What are others giving up or adding for Lent?

Lots and lots of love!

I meant to write about this when it happened, alas, it is a glory of the past, nevertheless, one to be shared. Last Saturday my best friend Charlene and I waltz over to University Hall in our little dresses (only mildly chilled by the unusually temperate February weather.) We see some scrambling commotion as we reach the doors, the first magically opens, and the second is opened magically - by a handsome gentleman (alias Ricardo) with a bowtie, are eyes are also riveted by the blond, bow-tied "waiter" to our left(alias Harold. We are seated in our places (reserved by exquisite name reservations) given menus, and can't help but notice the "1967 vintage" cover on a bottle of (what we are assuming was) sparkling grape juice and the cornucopia-style arrangement of apples, oranges, and bananas (a white carnation, edges tinged with lavender poking out). So, our socks were knocked off. Our orders are taken, and the most delicious pasta, salad, and sandwiches are brought out. The next, and equally wonderful, to arrive at our table were Trevor Tracey and Jimmy Haslam - dressed quite sharply, out of breath, and with huge grins on their faces. "Sorry we're late -- we got stuck in traffic." Us girls get the giggles, because no matter how different a bow tie makes someone look we'd recognize the faces of our loving and mildly mischievous friends anywhere!

Charlene and I both agreed we'd never felt so wooed (not woe-ed, but woooooo-ed). I wish every girl would have the chance to feel so absolutely loved, but the sad thing is, many of them don't. Even on a Christian campus I see girls in relationships they'd be better off free of - ones that they must learn to compromise their values, standards, and hope for a brighter future. They long for guys who can carry on those thought-provoking conversations, have fun and be honest with each other, they long for a guy who isn't ashamed of them and is romantic - without wanting to use them for something. There aren't very many guys like that out there - or people in general... But both Charlene and I have been blessed to find that (rather, given it by God). I've never felt like they were being kind just to get something out of us - it was clear to see that the love we felt was a love that comes from God and is for His greater glory.

What is seen has restored our hope in that which is unseen.

Possessed?

"I was a dismal mess, along with every other soul who is chained to the things of this life. When we lose the things we're all torn to pieces; then we realize we were miserable even while we had them." St. Augustine (The Confessions, book four)

I've been reading The Confessions for a while now (thankful that it's the type of book one can set down and come back to) it is both shameful and encouraging to read how similar I am to Augustine in my shortcomings. (I am nothing near to the "Saint" others claim he is.)

"Chained to the things of this world" that makes me think of a spiritual formation class I took - we talked about how one of the church "fathers and mothers" practiced simplicity as a spiritual discipline. Well, what's so spiritual about simplicity? I got an image, inadequately drawn on the back of some old test, of how each earthly thing traps us in this kingdom. Maybe that's why it's harder for the rich to get into the Kingdom of God than a camel through the eye of a needle - the rich have little threads (or are they chains) attached to each thing they have. You just can't drag all those things into the kingdom of God.

Possess the things of the old life and the world of sin and that is the kingdom which possesses you.

Thirsty Thursdays

The things that matter

white tights to cover unshaven legs
ones that will not likely be razed
red, silken shorts to cover up
the female's demonized body
rubber and plastic - one's trash
represent freedom: my treasure
wheels, and away I go
to the places I'll live someday...
melted snow puddles shimmering
delighted to muddle the ice
a rocky road is no deterrent
spring's first gentle current:
a breeze - balmy and beautiful
(as the unseen can always be)
kissing my hands, though days ago
it ripped and ravaged
rolling of clinging blouse -
is this allowed?
the same wind grazes my stomach
and tickles my fancies
of flying free

a leather glove three fingers clenching
nothing
the index pointing at the sogging swamp
honks of geese clatter cumulus clouds
clashing and colliding with falcon screech:
these are the things I love
three puppies, quivering with energy
the old and relaxed restless loose
wet tongues speak to ungloved fingers
the snatch of spring soars also
through the laden air
America's black and white leopards
feasting on grain (through metallic bars)
that will soon feast on their flesh

Another weekend to remember

Friday and Saturday February 11th and 12th: two more of the best days of my life.